Cherish the many faces of love

What is a soul mate? The dictionary says it is: One of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity. I am quite certain we have more than one soul mate! We are full of all kinds of love; the love for our children, parents, significant other, friends, spiritual love…

Ahh love! I am a romantic at heart! I love to escape into a good romance; Jane Austen is a favorite of mine. And to think, she never married and died at 41! Tragic I think because she wrote of love and like me, craved romance. Austin wrote, “A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.” The thing about love is it’s easy to get your head stuck in the clouds! I married young, full of romantic ideas. Thinking life would be like a Jane Austen novel! It started out like one, a rescue! What girl doesn’t want to be rescued!

My husband, Derek was my John Willoughby in Sense and Sensibility rescuing me from my locked out apartment (yes there is more to that story, but I only share that with people who know me really, really well)! Let me just say it was love at first sight and the romance began!

We would travel (yes, some), cook and drink (absolutely), and have lots of sex (Yes). After the honeymoon I checked marriage off the list and went on to focus on work, check. A little more travel and onto children, check, check! Hello reality! There is no time for romance like there is at the beginning of a relationship when everything is new and you have lots of time for sky rockets in flight afternoon delight!

Jane Austen had all the time in the world to keep her head up in the clouds! It was a different time! We get so busy at work and at home. We get involved in other peoples lives: coworkers, girlfriends, playdates…Our relationship with our husband or significant other can take a back seat. We spend a lot of time apart and confide in those people that we share our day with. But when nourishing that relationship even if only a quick break in the day we find ourselves alone, this reminds us of what brought us together and we can reconnect, and indulge in some romance (if only for a little while).

Investing in nurturing the love you have for your family, girlfriends, and husband is necessary for a happy heart I think.

You know those really good girlfriends you have that you might not talk to all the time but when you reconnect, you pick up right where you left off. Well, they are a gift! I’m one of those people who has just a handful of really close friends and I need each of them and would walk across hot coals for them any day!

Did you ever notice after college how hard it is to make friends and find people you have things in common with? Yes, you can put yourself out there in all kinds of uncomfortable situations! You can join moms groups and clubs galore but I think it’s rare to find a soul mate in a friend and when we do we must cherish that friendship! Ultimately, we have to make our own sorority in life! We need our relationships to stay sane in this crazy busy thing called motherhood! Just like in Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility, the sisters Elinor, Marianne, and Margaret had each other and their mother to get them through their ups and downs of romantic woes.

We need more than just one kind of love; the love of our friends, family, and soul mate make us complete. My husband and I take advantage of our small windows together. This is key in a relationship I believe. I’ve said this before, my Dad’s best advice, give great effort! Well…we have to put forth the effort to foster our relationships or they fizzle, no?

My husband is my best friend, my soul mate, my missing Pac-man piece! Together we make a great team. I want my children to see how important it is to care for our relationships (both friends and family). I say “I love you” when I feel it instead of reserving it for a special time. My daughter loves to see Mommy and Daddy kissing and hugging. It makes her happy to know we love each other! So…go on call your girlfriends, kiss your soul mate, say I love you, and put forth the effort. That’s Amore!”

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